Oooooh I'm a bad babysitter ha ha - just got a spank from my mother. Love it. I ate all the chicken and carrots from her fresh home made soup :)And then the crazycat chased me out of the kitchen when she discovered my mischief. Aaaah good times good times. There's nothing like a lil beating from your ma. I do it to remind her I'll always be that little brat she brought into the world and purely for my own amusement. I forget how she stutters when she's real mad. It's awesome. Just so goddamn funny, bless her. I love my mum when she's angry with me. I stole her joggy pants for joggin this morn to go hiking and she called me pretty POed. Like screamed down the phone. Anyways, I apologised and gave her a snuggle before I went off to take a snooze.

Boy, I forgot just how great afternoon snoozes are. Helll, I don't know anyone who doesn't agree with that statement beeeecause SNOOZES ROCK. I'm going to miss those the most when I have to start full time work. Even just the thought of a nap after I've had some lunchy brings a cheshire cat grin to my countenance. Snuggling into bed and taking time out is pobabl in my top five things to do I would say. Yeah, defo top five - if not defo in top ten.

So right, I have just discovered this geeetar player who I now love. Yes, I do in fact want his babies. Lots and lots and lots of them. This guy makes music that makes my heart skip a beat or two and boy do I need the ol heart to skip and leap every so often right now. I imagine my heart to be just like a frog right now. You know, it's there and all. Just sitting on one of those floating leaves, almost looking like a statue trying it's best to keep balance and keep afloat but still making the odd "ribbit" every so often to let the world know he's still there. Love hurts hey.

Today was a hoot though. Tom (one of my buddybuds) and I went for walkies to Studley Pike. I made THE best ham mustard butties in the world. I am THE man. God I love ham mustard butties. They rock too. Woah there I'd better jet - supposed to be going out in half an hour and I still smell like cats ass from zeee walk. Laterez ai.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I have cramp in my bloody left foot eek it hurts. Oh how it goddamn hurts. Cramp has to be the most annoying thing ever, well after my darling mother (who I love so so much) she doesn’t half love to nag though. Anyways I’ve just come out of the worst part of the cramp phase and am now just suffering with the lil left over tremors of the flippin’ awful feeling.

Been singing that American Pie song tonight because I’ve lately lost my best friend and I’m at a loss. A big fat loss. It sucks ass. I don’t get close to many people and I certainly don’t show to people who I really am. Don’t trust nobody – does anybody else find that these days? People just aren’t reliable. They either are frikkin’ great actors and act like they care and like they wanna be your friend when they’re just liars and just want whatever. How come the world has lost its genuiness AND I don’t care if that isn’t a real goddamn word because you know what I mean. All I’m looking out for is myself from now on and for the people I see truely worthwhile. And I’ve no idea why that Pie song would help. I just thought singing about pie would cheer me up.

I’m always struck by this topic really, simply because I don’t have that many experiences with “incredible” friendships and perhaps I expect too much from people BUT is it really really THAT hard to treat someone the way they treat you...eeeeeh nah! Crikey I’m ranting away like anything. I’m a crazy beeeeeeeeOTCH.

I’ll stop. Or will I? Probably not. Nope, I’m never ever going to change, I’m going to keep my standards high and those who can’t jump the bar can stick it in their bum bum ha ha and anyways hopefully I’ll attract a nice flock of birds my way because I’m sick of finding out that people are jackasses. So yeeeoh. That is that and I is Pat.

And now I think I will pack up my shiz and put my feet up. Packing is rather a chore. I’m going to do it in style tonight...scrape all the crap off my shelves and into my suitcase and bad-a-bing bad-a-boom...DONE. Hell I’m gonna do it now.

I’m hoping someone will e-mail me soon and so I keep checking my mail like every 2 seconds and core blimey THEY’VE NOT MESSAGED ME L boooo big boo! I guess I’m hoping for a miracle if they mail me back. Mann oh man, it’s offel to lose someone dear to you.

Woah I do tend to jump from topic to topic don’t I. Sorry. I’m going to write a letter to a bud bud now. Now she’s a loverly girly whirl and I want to say goodbye properly to her. I love writing letters by hand. It just adds a lil something extra extra don’t cha think. K gotta jet bye.

And nope, they’ve still not mailed me yet...

I is pooopy tonighty and I can't wait to go homey and and and get a big hug hug from my Mum and yeah it's all going to be just like Tony says - GrrrrrrrrrrEAT. I will be just as soon as I get my hug quotus up from a big fatty zero to a luxurious ten hugs a day. Arrrrgh I can't wait. I can't wait til I find some flippin' friends so I can get at least get a few sneaky sneaky greeting hugs in. And it's not like I can give everyone at work a morning hug because they'll think I've gone absolutely crackers. Well, the chances are high that they already think I am crackers but who gives one ey...snot smmeeee!

Cut my nails tonight. Now I'm suffering with that really annoying feeling like there's something missing from the end of my fingers. It's crazy and I canny stand it. Reminds me of the days my mother dearest used to force me down and cut 'em for me - WORST DAYS EVER. It just doesn't feel right for like ages and ages! Well just thought I'd let you into that lil experienco. I'm off. Laterez

Trying to sleep but can't. Changed my life tonight and am wondering if I trust myself to get me through the next chapter. The uncertainty in life is like a fly landing right on my banoffee pudding. I can't stand not knowing and I can't stand anything that comes between me and my bananarooney.

In bed ... again ... where I seem to spend most my days and will probably be staying in bed as much as possible - it's the only place where I can't feel safe and warm AND I'm listening to Radiohead, I'm a fan alright. For the way I feel this very minute they have to be the best pick of the bunch to match the mood. Remind me of my bud Matt - what a guy. Met him on the first day of uni. Sat with him since then. We were dweedle dee and tweedle dumm. Friend for life. k I'm mumbling and now I don't feel like writing my thoughts down. Might message Mattyboy instead. I'm out. Kbye.

I got run over today by this crazy kid. He was like four years old and biked right round the corner like a bat out of hell straight into my shin. Sweet lord I squealed like a piglet being chased around a pig shack knowing he was gonna be sunday lunch. Seriously hurt like anything. Just my luck hey, my shin is flippin' throbbin like anything. I think it's bent too. I've got a dinted bent shin now. Goddamn great.



But I did have this really bloody delishy banana and chocoloto sauce for puds this afternoon which eased the pain just a smidgin. And after an evening of walking around a flee market with a hot choc to warm my cockles, a quick watch of Blades of Glory (where I was soooo close to peeing my pants thanks to Will Ferrel's antics) and eating half a jar of pesto, and now I'm reminiscing all my most precious moments that I've spent doing foolish things on this ol' planet. AND now I'm craving a batty chatty. Core it sucks moving to a new country at the beginning and having a limited number of friends. Time really should get its skates on and speed up this friendship making before I decided to live under a rock and be an unsocial git. Alrighty enough ranting. I'm off for one of those 8 hour snoozes. Anyone else out there - sleep tight and don't let those guitar strings strangle you in you sleep. I'm being serious. Some crazy cat told me a horror story last night about how those evil looking porcelin dolls come alive and scratch you to death in your sleep and me being the mongoose that I am started imagining my guitar coming to life and strangling me with its strings.



I couldn't sleep so I put outside my door. There was no way ho zay that I'd be able to sleep after thinking about killer guitars. I need a bodyguard to keep watch over me when I go for sleepies. It's bloody crazy I tell ya, my imagination really does get the better of me. Ok really off now.

Holey moley I am a lazy schmuck. Just in bed chilling watching The Mighty Boosh with my black pants still on my head. Caught a glimpse of me as I totted to the potty and boy do I look an ejjit. I personally like the look... jokes jokes, naaah not really but but really. I do like the feeling of wearing a “hat” though. You’re probably thinking why the hell is that berk wearing black pants on her head. Welllllll it’s a long story. I’m joking, it’s pretty short really - you see I need the pants because my room doesn’t have good blinds and well, Sara canny sleep good when it’s too light so thought the panties were a flippin good idea. Works like a dream, took a while to get use to it but you just need to make sure the pants aren’t too big or they just wriggle off you head. I’ve found the perfect pair.

Anyways right, I’ll let you into a lil secret, since being in Berlin all I wanna do is lie around in bed all day long. I’m just soooo not my usual flippin’ self, you know the constant fidgeting, singing away like Wacko Jacko in my head and writing those ever so essential “to do” lists. But I gota pull my socks up me thinks or else I’m just going to waste lifey away nurturing my laziness like it's a bonzai tree so I’m making my list to do for today right now.

It’s only doing stuff like unpacking all my shizz and making me feel homely in my flatty and then other stuff like clean out kitchen and stock up the fridge and crikey – buy bananas. Hell, who know’s what life’d be like with out my daily dose of beeeeeenane, crikey imagine that. Don’t wanna. Anyways – when I look at my list to do, all I wana do is roll over in bed and and grumble “nooooo lord why meeee why meee” and then I think "core blimey, I need a fairy who fancies helping me out" and then I find myself thinking “you are a berk” and then I just get up, bite the bullet, and crack on with my chores. Do ‘em quick and it’s not so painful, still painful, but the small pleasure of sitting on a sparkly non stinky potty is just one of many that comes to mind. I could list more but they get more and more ridiculous.

Oh yeah – random peepz keep saying hello to me on Skype...is this normal? I don’t think I know them so I just keep on declining. In my head I’m like who the hell would sit there on a nice day looking for people to bother on Skype??? Not me I tell you. I’ve got faaar more important stuff on the agenda aaah who are we kidding – you’ve seen my list to do. Still I’d rather snooze then search for buddies on skype, you never know what you’ll get do you. Might get a crazy cat or someone freaky. Yeah so I just keep on batting those DECLINES back like I’m on the tennis courts.

OK I’m going to cut my extremely satisfying procrastinating short, even if I could rant on all day long (being a woman – that’s pretty easy and all), and slip into some clothes and shimmy my ass slowly through the ol’ list and then probably take me out for a lil baklava lava – mmmmmm so yummy. I loooove the baklava. Kbye.

P.S. Woop de doo! Cheers bud for the comment I thought it was just me here blogging away like a story telling monkeyman and minding my own business but that's awesome. Well, it's already made today a happy day.

Just call me Betty the Bag Lady ...or Billy No Mates. I'm stuck between the two. You see tonight I wanted to get the hell out of my old evil flat and get the hell into my heavenly new one...but it seems I have had an incredible amount of bags and unfortunately a lack of friends. And the peepz I know here were all busy or goddamn unreachable. So tonight was rather eventful. Not only was I kaaaanackerooneyd from a day in the field but I ended up making three trips back and forth moving in.

I really don't know anyone so unlucky and clumsy as moi. So to add to the growing list of unbelivable incidients.... the garden gnome and whatever else has happened to me lately, we can also add tripped over big fat bag into the wall and ripped the ol' work pants right on the butt. I caught a right good look of a cheek in the mirror beeeehind me. That was a nice treat. NOT. So anyways, the pants are gonna have to be binned :( boooooo. And I either have brown kack ones which me no likey or quite fancy pants which I would look perhaps a weee too smart in. Probably just wear my own clothes over the next few days.

Oooooo I bought me a guitar. Woop woop woop. I'm gonna learn and sing and be happy because lately I've realised just how much importance I place on finding people to make me a chappy who's happy but really the responsibility lies in my hands. I need to make me a perky perkerson and like - live life to the glass half full and not half empty. So from this moment onwards I'm gonna take matters into my own hands and woah, I bloody love Elvis. Can't crank it off. Return to sender. Choo choo choooooooooneo. Love it aiight eat that. Yeah so happy happy happy. Despite whatever clumsyness comes my way, no matter what some people say, no matter what - I will wear a smile, even if I am breaking inside. And do you know what that means - green eggs for brekky tomorrows mmmmmmmmmm yummy. Gotta be strong for all that malarky.

K I'm goosed. Lying in bed and typing is more taxing than you know after trapsing across town 3 times and singing not just in my noggin but outloud - no more shy Sara J. Nopey nope I was singing loud n proud whilst waiting for the Ubahn. Naturally a low song - still can't hit those high notes. In any case sucks ass all that carrying dude. Just gonna listen to forvever young, love the version by the youth group and the sleepies. Foooook I want a hug and a banana jokes jokes, I'll have me one for brekky. kbye