AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I have cramp in my bloody left foot eek it hurts. Oh how it goddamn hurts. Cramp has to be the most annoying thing ever, well after my darling mother (who I love so so much) she doesn’t half love to nag though. Anyways I’ve just come out of the worst part of the cramp phase and am now just suffering with the lil left over tremors of the flippin’ awful feeling.

Been singing that American Pie song tonight because I’ve lately lost my best friend and I’m at a loss. A big fat loss. It sucks ass. I don’t get close to many people and I certainly don’t show to people who I really am. Don’t trust nobody – does anybody else find that these days? People just aren’t reliable. They either are frikkin’ great actors and act like they care and like they wanna be your friend when they’re just liars and just want whatever. How come the world has lost its genuiness AND I don’t care if that isn’t a real goddamn word because you know what I mean. All I’m looking out for is myself from now on and for the people I see truely worthwhile. And I’ve no idea why that Pie song would help. I just thought singing about pie would cheer me up.

I’m always struck by this topic really, simply because I don’t have that many experiences with “incredible” friendships and perhaps I expect too much from people BUT is it really really THAT hard to treat someone the way they treat you...eeeeeh nah! Crikey I’m ranting away like anything. I’m a crazy beeeeeeeeOTCH.

I’ll stop. Or will I? Probably not. Nope, I’m never ever going to change, I’m going to keep my standards high and those who can’t jump the bar can stick it in their bum bum ha ha and anyways hopefully I’ll attract a nice flock of birds my way because I’m sick of finding out that people are jackasses. So yeeeoh. That is that and I is Pat.

And now I think I will pack up my shiz and put my feet up. Packing is rather a chore. I’m going to do it in style tonight...scrape all the crap off my shelves and into my suitcase and bad-a-bing bad-a-boom...DONE. Hell I’m gonna do it now.

I’m hoping someone will e-mail me soon and so I keep checking my mail like every 2 seconds and core blimey THEY’VE NOT MESSAGED ME L boooo big boo! I guess I’m hoping for a miracle if they mail me back. Mann oh man, it’s offel to lose someone dear to you.

Woah I do tend to jump from topic to topic don’t I. Sorry. I’m going to write a letter to a bud bud now. Now she’s a loverly girly whirl and I want to say goodbye properly to her. I love writing letters by hand. It just adds a lil something extra extra don’t cha think. K gotta jet bye.

And nope, they’ve still not mailed me yet...