It has been a while hasn't it. Would like to share with you all that I witnessed a horse eat and enjoy two bananas at the weekend and as far as I'm concerned - twoz awesome. Brings a whole new level to my love of bananas.

Hmmm what else have I been up to. After spending a very short three weeks in England with family and friends and my dearest loved one who isn't so dear since Saturday - yep big aaaah for me people. Anyways, where was I - after homeland visit, headed back to Berlin to start my new jobby and new life. Now I would like to say how much I like it here...never sure if the job is right but lordy - 23 years old - who know what I'll end up doing. Not me anyways. And living with some really nice people, feel very lucky (even if I am pining for my mummy and daddy for a big fat hug and I'm sooo not ashamed to admit that - I can't act like an adult all my life can I now)

Yeah, Halloween was the other week...went out as black cat...danced like a monkey all night long and just had a hoot. I'm learning guitar too - you're reading someone's scribbles who has mastered the flippin fantastic C major last night. Woop de doo. And then that was followed by tears and tears of losing man. Yet I am back today. Done my crying and self pity act and am ready to get back ont ye ol' horse. Not literally of course but always known deep down that we wouldn't last in spite of my best efforts to lie to myself. Man I'm good at that. But the truth be that I am better than that and there is some poor bugger out there waiting to get struck by my magic. Not yet though - got plans. Wanna do some living first and take some time to be a selfish schmuck and do what I want to do. Won't lie though - a best friend and lover will be greatly missed. I love caring for someone. Simple as. But not going to waste my time with takers anymore. Will wait for another giver. Yep, me thinks I have right there.

Am currently in work, hence typing away on my blog - taking a quick 10 minute break. Don't know why but feel like a fifth better when I get out some words naahmean. Aye, writing rubbish defo helps in times of pathetic anguish. Been thinking need a brand new plan...but what hey... but what? Who's got some ideas for Sara? I would think of my own but my ideas tend to be incredibly crazy and well, I'm a brainstormer...not so methodically minded!

Woah there cowboy, gotta get back to worky. Right I be gone. Poof.

Oooooh I'm a bad babysitter ha ha - just got a spank from my mother. Love it. I ate all the chicken and carrots from her fresh home made soup :)And then the crazycat chased me out of the kitchen when she discovered my mischief. Aaaah good times good times. There's nothing like a lil beating from your ma. I do it to remind her I'll always be that little brat she brought into the world and purely for my own amusement. I forget how she stutters when she's real mad. It's awesome. Just so goddamn funny, bless her. I love my mum when she's angry with me. I stole her joggy pants for joggin this morn to go hiking and she called me pretty POed. Like screamed down the phone. Anyways, I apologised and gave her a snuggle before I went off to take a snooze.

Boy, I forgot just how great afternoon snoozes are. Helll, I don't know anyone who doesn't agree with that statement beeeecause SNOOZES ROCK. I'm going to miss those the most when I have to start full time work. Even just the thought of a nap after I've had some lunchy brings a cheshire cat grin to my countenance. Snuggling into bed and taking time out is pobabl in my top five things to do I would say. Yeah, defo top five - if not defo in top ten.

So right, I have just discovered this geeetar player who I now love. Yes, I do in fact want his babies. Lots and lots and lots of them. This guy makes music that makes my heart skip a beat or two and boy do I need the ol heart to skip and leap every so often right now. I imagine my heart to be just like a frog right now. You know, it's there and all. Just sitting on one of those floating leaves, almost looking like a statue trying it's best to keep balance and keep afloat but still making the odd "ribbit" every so often to let the world know he's still there. Love hurts hey.

Today was a hoot though. Tom (one of my buddybuds) and I went for walkies to Studley Pike. I made THE best ham mustard butties in the world. I am THE man. God I love ham mustard butties. They rock too. Woah there I'd better jet - supposed to be going out in half an hour and I still smell like cats ass from zeee walk. Laterez ai.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I have cramp in my bloody left foot eek it hurts. Oh how it goddamn hurts. Cramp has to be the most annoying thing ever, well after my darling mother (who I love so so much) she doesn’t half love to nag though. Anyways I’ve just come out of the worst part of the cramp phase and am now just suffering with the lil left over tremors of the flippin’ awful feeling.

Been singing that American Pie song tonight because I’ve lately lost my best friend and I’m at a loss. A big fat loss. It sucks ass. I don’t get close to many people and I certainly don’t show to people who I really am. Don’t trust nobody – does anybody else find that these days? People just aren’t reliable. They either are frikkin’ great actors and act like they care and like they wanna be your friend when they’re just liars and just want whatever. How come the world has lost its genuiness AND I don’t care if that isn’t a real goddamn word because you know what I mean. All I’m looking out for is myself from now on and for the people I see truely worthwhile. And I’ve no idea why that Pie song would help. I just thought singing about pie would cheer me up.

I’m always struck by this topic really, simply because I don’t have that many experiences with “incredible” friendships and perhaps I expect too much from people BUT is it really really THAT hard to treat someone the way they treat you...eeeeeh nah! Crikey I’m ranting away like anything. I’m a crazy beeeeeeeeOTCH.

I’ll stop. Or will I? Probably not. Nope, I’m never ever going to change, I’m going to keep my standards high and those who can’t jump the bar can stick it in their bum bum ha ha and anyways hopefully I’ll attract a nice flock of birds my way because I’m sick of finding out that people are jackasses. So yeeeoh. That is that and I is Pat.

And now I think I will pack up my shiz and put my feet up. Packing is rather a chore. I’m going to do it in style tonight...scrape all the crap off my shelves and into my suitcase and bad-a-bing bad-a-boom...DONE. Hell I’m gonna do it now.

I’m hoping someone will e-mail me soon and so I keep checking my mail like every 2 seconds and core blimey THEY’VE NOT MESSAGED ME L boooo big boo! I guess I’m hoping for a miracle if they mail me back. Mann oh man, it’s offel to lose someone dear to you.

Woah I do tend to jump from topic to topic don’t I. Sorry. I’m going to write a letter to a bud bud now. Now she’s a loverly girly whirl and I want to say goodbye properly to her. I love writing letters by hand. It just adds a lil something extra extra don’t cha think. K gotta jet bye.

And nope, they’ve still not mailed me yet...

I is pooopy tonighty and I can't wait to go homey and and and get a big hug hug from my Mum and yeah it's all going to be just like Tony says - GrrrrrrrrrrEAT. I will be just as soon as I get my hug quotus up from a big fatty zero to a luxurious ten hugs a day. Arrrrgh I can't wait. I can't wait til I find some flippin' friends so I can get at least get a few sneaky sneaky greeting hugs in. And it's not like I can give everyone at work a morning hug because they'll think I've gone absolutely crackers. Well, the chances are high that they already think I am crackers but who gives one ey...snot smmeeee!

Cut my nails tonight. Now I'm suffering with that really annoying feeling like there's something missing from the end of my fingers. It's crazy and I canny stand it. Reminds me of the days my mother dearest used to force me down and cut 'em for me - WORST DAYS EVER. It just doesn't feel right for like ages and ages! Well just thought I'd let you into that lil experienco. I'm off. Laterez

Trying to sleep but can't. Changed my life tonight and am wondering if I trust myself to get me through the next chapter. The uncertainty in life is like a fly landing right on my banoffee pudding. I can't stand not knowing and I can't stand anything that comes between me and my bananarooney.

In bed ... again ... where I seem to spend most my days and will probably be staying in bed as much as possible - it's the only place where I can't feel safe and warm AND I'm listening to Radiohead, I'm a fan alright. For the way I feel this very minute they have to be the best pick of the bunch to match the mood. Remind me of my bud Matt - what a guy. Met him on the first day of uni. Sat with him since then. We were dweedle dee and tweedle dumm. Friend for life. k I'm mumbling and now I don't feel like writing my thoughts down. Might message Mattyboy instead. I'm out. Kbye.

I got run over today by this crazy kid. He was like four years old and biked right round the corner like a bat out of hell straight into my shin. Sweet lord I squealed like a piglet being chased around a pig shack knowing he was gonna be sunday lunch. Seriously hurt like anything. Just my luck hey, my shin is flippin' throbbin like anything. I think it's bent too. I've got a dinted bent shin now. Goddamn great.



But I did have this really bloody delishy banana and chocoloto sauce for puds this afternoon which eased the pain just a smidgin. And after an evening of walking around a flee market with a hot choc to warm my cockles, a quick watch of Blades of Glory (where I was soooo close to peeing my pants thanks to Will Ferrel's antics) and eating half a jar of pesto, and now I'm reminiscing all my most precious moments that I've spent doing foolish things on this ol' planet. AND now I'm craving a batty chatty. Core it sucks moving to a new country at the beginning and having a limited number of friends. Time really should get its skates on and speed up this friendship making before I decided to live under a rock and be an unsocial git. Alrighty enough ranting. I'm off for one of those 8 hour snoozes. Anyone else out there - sleep tight and don't let those guitar strings strangle you in you sleep. I'm being serious. Some crazy cat told me a horror story last night about how those evil looking porcelin dolls come alive and scratch you to death in your sleep and me being the mongoose that I am started imagining my guitar coming to life and strangling me with its strings.



I couldn't sleep so I put outside my door. There was no way ho zay that I'd be able to sleep after thinking about killer guitars. I need a bodyguard to keep watch over me when I go for sleepies. It's bloody crazy I tell ya, my imagination really does get the better of me. Ok really off now.

Holey moley I am a lazy schmuck. Just in bed chilling watching The Mighty Boosh with my black pants still on my head. Caught a glimpse of me as I totted to the potty and boy do I look an ejjit. I personally like the look... jokes jokes, naaah not really but but really. I do like the feeling of wearing a “hat” though. You’re probably thinking why the hell is that berk wearing black pants on her head. Welllllll it’s a long story. I’m joking, it’s pretty short really - you see I need the pants because my room doesn’t have good blinds and well, Sara canny sleep good when it’s too light so thought the panties were a flippin good idea. Works like a dream, took a while to get use to it but you just need to make sure the pants aren’t too big or they just wriggle off you head. I’ve found the perfect pair.

Anyways right, I’ll let you into a lil secret, since being in Berlin all I wanna do is lie around in bed all day long. I’m just soooo not my usual flippin’ self, you know the constant fidgeting, singing away like Wacko Jacko in my head and writing those ever so essential “to do” lists. But I gota pull my socks up me thinks or else I’m just going to waste lifey away nurturing my laziness like it's a bonzai tree so I’m making my list to do for today right now.

It’s only doing stuff like unpacking all my shizz and making me feel homely in my flatty and then other stuff like clean out kitchen and stock up the fridge and crikey – buy bananas. Hell, who know’s what life’d be like with out my daily dose of beeeeeenane, crikey imagine that. Don’t wanna. Anyways – when I look at my list to do, all I wana do is roll over in bed and and grumble “nooooo lord why meeee why meee” and then I think "core blimey, I need a fairy who fancies helping me out" and then I find myself thinking “you are a berk” and then I just get up, bite the bullet, and crack on with my chores. Do ‘em quick and it’s not so painful, still painful, but the small pleasure of sitting on a sparkly non stinky potty is just one of many that comes to mind. I could list more but they get more and more ridiculous.

Oh yeah – random peepz keep saying hello to me on Skype...is this normal? I don’t think I know them so I just keep on declining. In my head I’m like who the hell would sit there on a nice day looking for people to bother on Skype??? Not me I tell you. I’ve got faaar more important stuff on the agenda aaah who are we kidding – you’ve seen my list to do. Still I’d rather snooze then search for buddies on skype, you never know what you’ll get do you. Might get a crazy cat or someone freaky. Yeah so I just keep on batting those DECLINES back like I’m on the tennis courts.

OK I’m going to cut my extremely satisfying procrastinating short, even if I could rant on all day long (being a woman – that’s pretty easy and all), and slip into some clothes and shimmy my ass slowly through the ol’ list and then probably take me out for a lil baklava lava – mmmmmm so yummy. I loooove the baklava. Kbye.

P.S. Woop de doo! Cheers bud for the comment I thought it was just me here blogging away like a story telling monkeyman and minding my own business but that's awesome. Well, it's already made today a happy day.

Just call me Betty the Bag Lady ...or Billy No Mates. I'm stuck between the two. You see tonight I wanted to get the hell out of my old evil flat and get the hell into my heavenly new one...but it seems I have had an incredible amount of bags and unfortunately a lack of friends. And the peepz I know here were all busy or goddamn unreachable. So tonight was rather eventful. Not only was I kaaaanackerooneyd from a day in the field but I ended up making three trips back and forth moving in.

I really don't know anyone so unlucky and clumsy as moi. So to add to the growing list of unbelivable incidients.... the garden gnome and whatever else has happened to me lately, we can also add tripped over big fat bag into the wall and ripped the ol' work pants right on the butt. I caught a right good look of a cheek in the mirror beeeehind me. That was a nice treat. NOT. So anyways, the pants are gonna have to be binned :( boooooo. And I either have brown kack ones which me no likey or quite fancy pants which I would look perhaps a weee too smart in. Probably just wear my own clothes over the next few days.

Oooooo I bought me a guitar. Woop woop woop. I'm gonna learn and sing and be happy because lately I've realised just how much importance I place on finding people to make me a chappy who's happy but really the responsibility lies in my hands. I need to make me a perky perkerson and like - live life to the glass half full and not half empty. So from this moment onwards I'm gonna take matters into my own hands and woah, I bloody love Elvis. Can't crank it off. Return to sender. Choo choo choooooooooneo. Love it aiight eat that. Yeah so happy happy happy. Despite whatever clumsyness comes my way, no matter what some people say, no matter what - I will wear a smile, even if I am breaking inside. And do you know what that means - green eggs for brekky tomorrows mmmmmmmmmm yummy. Gotta be strong for all that malarky.

K I'm goosed. Lying in bed and typing is more taxing than you know after trapsing across town 3 times and singing not just in my noggin but outloud - no more shy Sara J. Nopey nope I was singing loud n proud whilst waiting for the Ubahn. Naturally a low song - still can't hit those high notes. In any case sucks ass all that carrying dude. Just gonna listen to forvever young, love the version by the youth group and the sleepies. Foooook I want a hug and a banana jokes jokes, I'll have me one for brekky. kbye

AMERICA FUCK YEAH

Bought me a lil bread into work and BAM got me a banana butty. I sooooo know what I'm having for brekky tomorrow morning AND I've saved some bananas for a banoffee pie. Gonna make me a big phat banoffee pie this weekend and eat it all and it's going to be gloooorious.

Aaaah weekend sweet weekend. Working throughout the week makes me really appreciate the weekend. I can't say I actually get up to much, just sitting in coffee shops dinking T and eating cake and then just going out drinking and dancing...the usual carry on of a young person wouldn't you say. This weekend it's gonna be exceptional. I can't go wrong - movies, popcorn and banoffee...panorama bar when the fathead bouncers let us in and snoozing galore. Can't wait. Can't wait to just chillax.

Man, with all this chillax chat makes me realise I'm missing peepz at the mo. Maybe I'm going crackers but I'm missing my hugs. Usually I get at least 5 a day - dude, I'm lucky if I get 5 a bloody week now. It's not on. Just not on. I miss jumping on my ma until she gets so pissed off with me she ends up shreeking like a crazy bit... or tries to smack me ha ha ha stupid lady - I'm bigger, stronger and got the reflexes of a cat meeeow. Anyways yeah, I could list a whole loada peepz who I miss, but I won't...you guys know who you are.

And anyways I've thought about this a lot and have come to the conclusion that I should buy a dog. I'm going to buy a dog and I'm gonna call him Bernard and we're gonna go walking together and watch flicks together and yeah, I'll have mountains of hugs then. And no before yee get the impression I'm going to have dog babies - that isn't going to be part of me and my dog time - human to human is the way forward. Dog and human is just plain creepy. I'm gonna go look up what type of dog I want. Laterez.

So I’ve been the target of bad luck lately – seriousooo Lord what have done? I guess you can say these are the things that shape a person – not only did I get batted by a garden gnome on the back of the head BUT the other day, there I was changing my clothes quickly in the toilet after work so I could head on out straight away. Swapped my trousers for jeans and shirt for a T, thought I’d nip quickly out to sort the ol’ hair only to hear the goddamn door slam and when I went back – it had flippin’ locked itself. Bloody typical! The only option I had was to do a miss imposs style hedge jump over from the cubicle on the other side to get all my gear. I'm now sporting two corking bruises! Grrrrr. Serioulsy – why me?

Anyways found me a lil flatty with some cracking peepz and now I’m looking for a jobby. It seems I’m almost unemployable. I’m the man goddamn. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I would be an asset to any company but I think I’ve got the face that says don’t pick me. Sucks ass. Not sure what I’ll do to be honesto. Keep my chin up is one thing. Something will turn up and when not – I’ll just bum around. Stay here for six months – go travelling. Who the hell cares. I’m still young(ish).

I’m dead happy today, call me sad but I don’t give a…, because I’m wearing my new shoes…furrymuff they’re not like Paolo’s – blue and suede – but hell, which moron would choose blue suede instead of black patent? I luuuuurve the shine. Yep, took me shopping on Saturday and literally visited every shoe shop in Berlin. And of course – I found exactly what I was looking for in the last shop! Dude have you ever bought shoes that make you feel like Dorothy? Well I have and well, I feel like skipping…hell I might even skip to luncheon. Can’t wait for lunchy coz I need a munchy ha ha no really I do. My porridge wasn’t enough for me today and I am now a hungry horse. Not sure what I’ll have today. Decisions decisions.

K lunchy kbye

I'm sooooooooo blue. Do any of you ever get that? Total sadness for no goddamn reason? Been listening to Queen - underpressure - that might have something to do with it actually. Still my mood is quiet which I like to think isn't like me. I'm supposed to be happy and smiley. I'm the man goddamn ! And have no time for all this malarky. Spoke to my mother dear too, that's probably put me in a stink mood too. That woooman - I swear to the lord she's got magic powers to make me crazy!

Oh sweet mother mary! WHAT A CHUNE! I watched this flick one day with a lovely pal of mine, Tom O'D. The flick was called "Once" set in Dublin and is made raw and when I was watching it, I'm not gonna tell any porkies now, I couldn't wait for it to end until it did and then I didn't want it to end. Yes I am an ejjit who clearly can't appreciate beauty til it's goddamn too late. Anways the flick is about this busker bloke who meets a foreign lady and they make songs together and end up falling in love and it was just all about the beauty of the music and oooo sweet lordy - I was touched. Everything about the movie was incredible. Don't get me wrong, it's no movie I could watch a lot BUT that time it was what I needed and the whole point I've rambled on about this shiz is BEEEEcause I've just this instant stumbled across the soundtrack. Man, I could goddamn cry it's that good. Find it and listen to it do it do it do it barcardi 'n' cola do it. I think I'm bumming myself out again. Ok happy moooozak from now, let's put a bit of Marvin Gaye on - oh -can't - tear - my - self - away - from - sad - beautiful - music! Right ok all goood, I'm bad to a bit of sanity. There's nothing like a bit of Pendulum! Love the man in the "slam" viddy...it's actually where I get most of my moves from ha ha ha jokes jokes but not really.

I tell ya what, that Slam viddy is bloomin' awesome. I love that fatty just going for it on the street, tie round the ol' noggin like he's the goddamn karate kid and shakin his a belly with his butt crack out - classy bird yeah. ha ha love it. love it. K bored I'm off.

Well well well, I have no idea why I get sooooo incredibly creative and thoughtful in the ol office (or at any other convenient time as a matter of fact). But I find myself once again – typing away like there’s no tomorrow about all the bloomin’ crap that spins around in my head.

It dawned on me last night before I went to bed and just before I walked face first into my flippin’ bathroom door and cracked my schnozzle one! That I am in fact Black Beauty.


You see, I am naturally a super happy, enthusiastic and positive person who wants to succeed in the areas that mean a lot to me. I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t give it my all each and every time – it just ain’t who I am. So my role currently is not fulfilling my needs of achievement. AND according to the ever so wise Maslow (he's the geezer we learnt about in business studies who chatted on about worker needs and motivations) – anyways my needs need to be met and then will I be once again perky perkerson. But until then, I’m crumbling inside. That’s why I’m like Black Beauty.



You see Black Beauty was this fine specimen of a horse, playing in the field, galloping about the place until he got taken away, sold, beaten, worked to the bone and almost starved to death before he got saved. I’m at the beaten and starved stage right now. I fear it couldn’t get any worse – unless I got smacked with a garden gnome again and that would just be plain unlucky. My once lively spirit of playing in the fields has been broken, just like good ol’ Blacky’s. I am waiting for a sign, something, anything to swing my way and bring me out of this crushing, soul destroying feeling of dismay, sadness and sheer disappointment.

Ok so maybe I’m being a wee drastic but I gota do something. I need to find a way, find my feet and flippin’ stay positive. Lord knows what might happen otherwise!

Quick question – is Black Beauty a boy or girl?



I’m back on the water challenge again. I did it all last year when I had what was probably THE worst time of my life. This little daily challenge used to keep my very occupied indeedio. I’d drink lots and pee lots which equates to optimum time wasting. Plan batman yeah. Well. It was a plan until I read about drinking so much that you drown your body – so I’m playing the “careful” water challenge now. So far I’m 1.5 litres down, got me a nice big round belly brimming with water and I won’t lie, I’m feeling a bit queasy. It’s going well though, I’m up from yesters – it’s only half three so there’s plenty more downing time available.

Luncheon was a chore today. Went to this canteen where I had to eat some nasty sauce. I don’t know why but since I’ve become chef man bing, I don’t enjoy eating out as much because I can taste all the crap that restaurants put in food to make it taste “yummy”. It’s all a loads of bollocks, I cook well nice fresh food without none of this butter, salt…schmatever malarkey. It’s actually costing me an arm and a leg eating out every day but it’s the only piece of sanity I get from my sheltered and lonely and extremely mind numbingly boring day.

I often wonder how the devil I manage to get myself into such situations. I mean, I end up doing things which I despise and how – I’ll tell you how – because I’m a big berk. Yep, 100% berk in my blood. I wish I knew what I wanted to do with myself rather than constantly doing things I bloomin’ can’t stand. I’m in one of those moods where I beat myself up, mentally of course – physically would be a quite a challenge don’t you think. Anyways, yeah. Work sucks because I want to do my own thing but I need experience of the business world. Grrr.


Going out tonight too which I can't wait for, have me some wine – a glass or two, maybe three. Put it this way I want me to be nice and merry! I've made a really great friend. In fact I haven't had such a phat friend -who is a girl I might add in there - since I was 16. And now in my wise old age, I recognise that it's not particularly healthy to be around blokes and only blokes 24/7. Sure they're fun and all but the lad humour and shallowness can really get a girl down every once in a while. So I've learned. But this lass is awesome. Love her humour and love how it's easy to be around her and I goddamn wish that there were more girls like that around. I'm going to be heartbroken when she has to go back to uni and I have to keep doing what I'm doing - who will I laze about with all day in Mauerpark!!! I’ll have to bloomin’ lie around on my toddy and we all know that just isn’t any fun.

Ooooo I’m a bad babysitter… guess who’s eating a whole load of peanut M&Ms! ME. Promised myself no sweeties in worky BUT they’re saving me from eternal bordom. I like to nibble all the choccy off and then munch away on the peeeanut. Man I love peanuts. Dunno why, but I do. Oh I like almonds too and cashews- mmmm I luuurve cashews. I like having one cashew nut with like 3 raisins - perfecto combo. Tastes increders. Now I'm singing "I like cashews I like cashews" over and over and over in my head. I’m going to buy some on the way home. Sweet Lord, I can’t wait to go home. I’m calling my pops tonight too. Just can’t wait. The guy is a LEGEND. I actually miss him immensely. He’s just so goddamn awesome. Alrighty, I’ve got pee – goddamn water.

I just got a blog, well ok, last week I "just" got a blog BUT I've just plucked up some courage to write something...not that I'm sure where I actually should be writing. I guess that's one the tricky things about being a blonde - you never quite know what's going on - even when its point blank obvious. Yep we blondes have our pros and our cons, our ups and our downs and we defo (almost) always prove all those brunettes wrong because we DO have more fun!

I sharn't say anymore over this debate...


Anyways, here I am stuck at work, doing nothing, and it's painfully soul crushing. You know the saying - little fish in a big pond? Well I'm about the size a piece of plankton in this pond. Fair enough I'm only a placement student but shaaaamon now - throw me a frikkin' bone here - I gota learn a lil somethin' somethin'!! I'm like " hey - I'm a person too, I can do that, I wana do that, help me do that!!!!" Companies should be taking care of those fresh minded, enthusiastic and intelligent graduates (like me) ! I can't wait to branch out and spead my wings MY WAY!!!


Speaking of branches, yesters on my way home you won't believe what the devil happend to me. A tree branch (I should call it killer tree branch! Because it was about the size of my arm!!!) landed on the ground about a metre in front of me. Lads, I might not be here today if that hit me! Lets all take a minute to thank the big man upstairs for watching over Sara J. Because he clearly wasn't thinking about me the week before when I got smacked on the back of the head but a bloody garden gnome that got blown off a balcony in the storms. I got a concussion and everything. Lost a few very precious brain cells and it's resulted in me still suffering with headaches which SUCK! I. HATE. HEADACHES! I swear there are little men in my head marching around, banging on my veins and just in general causing me more pain than I deserve!

I still can't see the funny side of a garden gnome smacking me one on the back of the head probably at terminal velocity in spite of all the pillocks telling me its hilarious. It's tragically funny in my eyes and I doubt I'll ever change my mind on that.